Band:
Anthony Kaoteon (all strings)
Walid Wolflust (vocals)
Ziad "Blaster" (drums)
Discography:
Debut
Guests:
Info
Dan Swanö (master)
Released 21/2-2011
Reviewed 9/2-2011
Now, don't get me wrong. There is plenty of music that sound even worse than Kaoteon, but it makes no diffence with bands that are absolutely worst or only almost - shit is shit. Bad music is something subjective, but if you get a couple of hundred albums to review per year there will almost be a pile of shit among them. I personally have the most difficulties with bands that only make hard music with the purpose of it to be hard and doesn't actually know how to do hard music good. Kaoteon joins this group of bands.
Come to think of it, I might have been a bit unfair to Kaoteon so far. For example when I said in the beginning that I'd like to throw them into a volcano with a nuclear bomb and seal it shut with cement. As the matter of fact, they actually are pretty good. With "pretty" I mean "absolutely" and with "good" I meant "worthless". I can't for a second get my head around what the purpose is to do an album like 'Veni, Vundi, Vomui'. It doesn't have a melodic foundation, neither is it rhythmic, harmonic or logic. I think the band could have written a book instead of doing an album that apparently only consist of totally uncontrolled noises. It's obvious that the reason for doing this album isn't to express some sort of musical spirit or feeling. So I guess the only reason for doing it is to say something they obviously think is important. But whatever that might be they've failed completely.
If Kaoteon think they could become rock stars with this album they are more insane that what's healthy for someone walking at the street freely. Clearly an album like this is bound to miss out on the big audience, which means that whatever message they had to tell they won't get anoyone to listen at it. And also, with an album like this no one would be able to understand the message since it's impossible to hear what the hell they're trying to say. And another thing is that in this era with Spotify and iTunes and illegal downloading, neither is there anyone left to read the lyrics. So I'll state my point once again: whatever they are trying to say with 'Veni, Vundi, Vomui', they've absolutely nailed it! And by "absolutely" I mean exactly that, but with "nailed it" I actually mean "blown it".
The music, if we can call what can be heard on 'Veni, Vundi, Vomui' music, that is played is made by unorganized battering at all instruments without any direction or connection to eachother. The so called vocals sounds mostly as uncontrolled burping - as if someone has got a diseace where they constantly burp and can't stop. And if anyone out there think that sounds as something they want to hear, let me just tell you that it's extremely irritating! And when I say "irritating", I really mean IRRITATING! It's completely un-understandable that finances are spent on making something as this. A book would have been cheaper, easier to understand and they would have got their message more clear with it.
Instrumentally it doesn't sound a thing better than at the vocal side. The vocals are most about making sounds that aren't completely noise but still sound so bad that it is. Imagine this. You are placed at the middle of a class room with pre-school children. Behind you there's a kid going at the table with his bare hands and beside you there are two kids drumming with pencils. One on the table and the other at some plastic cans. On the other side there's this kid blowing in to a paper and at the front of him another one is making fart noises with his elbow. At the corner there's one kid talking in full speed and at the other corner another kid is talking into his hands slowly. At the third corner there's a kid shouting uncontrolled and at the forth corner someone is just caughing. Somewhere in the room there's someone stomping his feet and another one kicking a chair so it falls over again and again. Somewhere in that mess we have the noises made from Kaoteon and this album. You might be able to stand it for a couple of minutes. Maybe a quarter if you're a real saint. But when half an hour feels like a couple of hours then 45 minutes is an eternity of noises you only wish serial rapeists or serial killers to withstand.
Kaoteon makes this years first really all trough bad album. It's the first album this year that can't be approved at a single basic standard for how music can, ought to or should sound. This is the first album this year that gets the one point score. It's the first album this year that deserves to be thrown down into a vulcano, followed by a nuclear bomb before cementing it seal shut. It makes you vomit.
HHHHHHH
