Alastor
Noble North

Dear Creature,
My name is Caj Källmalm and I write from the planet Earth. The Earth consists of a big number of countries, the one I come from is called Swe-den (Sweden). In our countries we have cities, I live in the biggest city of Sweden – Stock-holm (Stockholm). I’ve received your greeting and have tried to translated it, but even though I’m a linguist and understands foreign tongues well, I must admit yours is truly un-understandable.

I can’t understand all of these wild screams you make, is it your language? Even though I understand your reason to scream, since you are so far away, but your message remains weird and hard to translate and if you would speak instead of scream one might had a better chance to understand it.

Even though I appreciate your attempt to make a good impression, but was it really necessary to accompany your speech with all that music in the background? However, I do like the dirty, high pitched guitar (at least when it plays lead) and the drums are rhythmic, maybe they present a message of them own (?) – but they don’t sound like Indian drums or morse-code but what do I know, it might just be your civilized culture that use cymbals and hi-hats. I on the other hand is more used to hearing bass- and bongo drums, which you also in your ant-like way hammer on in you frenzy way.

In part four of your message, at the moment I hear some keyboard tinkle, I wonder which female specimen that can be heard in the background? Also, for me that language is more clear to me, it almost reminds me of a language here on earth called “German”. Could it be that the planet from which you inherit, the one called Austria, speak a language related to our German? Or is it that you, as well as we, have several languages and this specific one have those similarities? I’d like to hear more of these keyboard tinkling, but as a black message as this is, maybe it shouldn’t be used – no matter how much more sense the whole message would make with it. I personally wonder what made you both use the keys and the woman on this specific part, no matter how I try to translate it I fail miserably.

What I do get from your message is the darkness, almost like the one in those Norwegian woods from which monsters like Satyricon, Isengard and Nattefrost have arose. However this was a pleasant darkness, not like the Norwegian, and these kind of messages which we on earth only make as simple as possible is actually topped with melodies and everything. I’d like to say that it’s a pretty nice experience of primitive black metal, as we would call it here on earth. However, if I would come with a suggestion for the future, it would be to shorten your message a bit. I’m sure it’s necessary now when we make our first contact with each other, but to make it easier to understand one another in the future, and to lessen the proportion of translation-head ache, I’d say you would keep more listeners all the way if clocked in a few minutes shorter.

With all these said, keep sending your messages and we earthlings will soon understand you completely!

Thank you and best regards
Caj Källmalm, Hallowed Magazine

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