Vante
s/t

The absolutely funniest thing about this American band is that it is called Mitten or Glove if you translate from my native tongue. Other than that I have nothing interesting at all about them really. It is a group of musicians that are well versed and have played with well-known artists, perhaps some say a supergroup. This is their self-titled debut album, searching for it on Swedish servers does yield some funny results on the biggest search engine. I read in the email that they have done well with some single on the Billboard charts, and such.

I had time to read a lot, a whole book, then I researched and filled out the page for the review, edited thirty photos, solved fourteen sudokus, as I wanted to listen through this album once more before writing - and I still hadn’t played through the album even once. The playing time is insanely long, I don’t think the apple music player has it right with two hours and thirteen minutes, it feels a lot longer bur I think it is about half that – which is more than long enough.

It is a difficult album to get into due to the playing time being more geological eras than minutes and hours, I get bored easily. This album doesn’t help as it is not varied, and the rock style is generic, you could have used Alter Bridge, Nickelback, Nirvana, insert any band here, for the similar artists as they sound like everyone else. The singer is a typical American rock singer, uninteresting voice. I think the sound has power, it is modern, quite attractive, but for an attractive sound you need attractive songs for it to work, and Vante writes the same songs as everyone else, and that is about as funny as cleaning a toilet or going to the dentist. Still, whichever perspective you look at, the question is not why is it so cold, but rather why is it so long?

It. Never. Ends. That is what I think after completing a book from start to finish and still have plenty of songs left to play. I figured I listen a sixth time in total and read this book, then the album is done, and I can fix the page and write the text while I play it again. Fat chance. I did the page, still half the album left. I edited some old photos. Still not done. I looked online reading on how to improve my drawing skills, I read a few tips, still not done. I solved fourteen sudokus on the current event, still not through the album once today.

I was half expecting the world to have changed, that the current human created geological era and mass extinction would have come to an end and I would look out the window and see a completely different world that I didn’t recognise as humanity had peaked and died while I tried to listen through this endless album. I would have written this review anyway, so you have no way of knowing if it happened. But they chart well on Billboard, how the hell is that possible? I guess is the crazy consumerism, people just buy slews of shit they don’t need, because no one needs this album – no one will like it. I am happy to destroy the files and erase them forever – best moment this week was just now when I marked all the files and pressed delete and then emptied the bin.

HHHHHHH