Review I Shalt Become - The Pendle Witch Trials 2009

Tracks:
1. Intro
2. Enstasy (The Theory of Maxwell's Demon)
3. The Serpent Song
4. A Ritual Killing
5. The Tragedie of Macbeth: Actus Quintus, Scena Quinta
6. End Time
7. Denial
8. In Absentia
9. Outro

Band:
S. Holliman (allt)

Discography:
Wanderings ('98)
In The Falling Snow ('08)
Requiem ('08)

Guests:

Info:

Released: 2009
Reviewed: 100129

Links:
dungeons-of-darkness.net
myspace
no colors records

1984, Sweden and the city of Eskilstuna - that's when and where I'm born. I grew up in Mariefred, by the beaches of Mälaren and the castle of Gripsholm around the bend. In the many great forests of Mariefred I spent my childhood - both with and without friends until I by 14 year of age moved 600 km north to Östersund. By 18 years of age I moved to Falun. Then by 21 I moved to Stockholm. By 23 I moved back to Östersund, and then 24 I moved to Sveg. Here I am, at the age of 25, in Sveg - a forgotten hell-hole in the middle of nothing, listening to this piece of crap? What's become of me?

Please, don't get the wrong ideas. It's nothing really wrong with Sveg when it comes around, it's I Shalt Become and their album 'The Pendle Witch Trials' that's simply shit!

Before you waste your breath - yes, I get it! They are atmospheric and moody and myyystical. Or they try to at least. But it's just so damn corny and crapy and so dull and really - really - nothing. Wow, we play a relaxed guitar line in the background to some murmur or something from a basement - ooooh. How did they come up with that "genious" idea? Cool kids croaking as I myself do when I'm having a cold and blow the nose and sneeze - this is I Shalt Become's version of vocals. And some howling on that as well. "Moooo" is how it sounds. With a melancholic melody from the guitar, a tragicly one toned drumline and the keyboard that play some sucky not-even-frightening-horror-movie soundtrack, with the basement murmur in the background.

This is not atmospheric. It's not moody. And it's definitely not good! I wonder what's with the titles. Listen to this: The Tragedie of Mcbeth: Actus Quintus, Svena Quinta. What the fuck of an excuse for a title is that? Or Entasy (The Theory of Maxwell's Demon). They are not even singing anything, for fuck sake! And these titles are just... I don't know,. Fuck them!

Just put it to a rest. This is not the material of a music album, it's just plain foolishness. And the label comes spreading words like "masterpiece" around this. Dream on! Maybe in the up-side down world. In a parallell universe, maybe! In Bizarro-world, PHERHAPS! This is the worst album I've heard in some time, which is saying quite alot considering what pieces of crap I've got lately.

My best advice is: Don't listen! To the band: Quit! To the label: Put your money on something useful instead! Like helping Haiti or Paris Hilton or anything, but please don't release any more albums sounding as donkey asses! Fucking wasted piece of garbage is what it is!

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